


false hope

by transquillity



Category: Supernatural
Genre: FTM, FTM Dean Winchester, Gen, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Dean Winchester, Transgender, WIP, trans male, transgender male
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14968379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transquillity/pseuds/transquillity
Summary: dean is a man.dean is a man;but john and sam can't know that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (profanity; dysphoria; themes of misgendering etc.)

dean took a chug of beer. "hey, careful there, you might pass out. or worse, you'll have a damned beer belly like bobby." john quipped, chuckling as bobby rolled his eyes. "oh, screw off dad, i've barely had one beer." dean laughed, feeling his chest tighten. "oh yeah, you sure about that? soon enough you'll be singin' karaoke or some crap, though." he added, dean biting his lip and forcing a laugh, "hey, that was like the first time i ever had beer, and it wasn't karaoke since there wasn't any machi-" john interrupted him though, asking if he remembered the song dean had sung, dean nodding hastily. john looked to sam and started to sing a forced and gruff rendition of what seemed to be imaginary lover. sam laughed, almost dropping his beer, and dean joined in, but not before taking a glance over at a disappointed bobby. bobby got up, taking a couple of empty beer bottles scattered around and heading to the kitchen. "bobby, join in, would you?" sam asked in between fits of laughter.

"goddamn, where the hell is the angry-drunk john when you need him." bobby mumbled.

the two ended their duet trying to figure out the rest of the lyrics, and opting to instead hum and vocalize. sam finished his drink, giving the bottle to dean and gesturing for him to put it in the kitchen. sam asked about john's latest hunt as dean went into the kitchen.

"you shouldn't let them treat you like that. it'll just let him treat other women like that, too."

"other women?"

"sorry. didn't mean it like that. you should know that."

"yeah, yeah." dean replied, his voice getting deeper. "it's not a huge deal. not a fucking feminist."

"you should be."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"you don't have to be like him to be a man."

"what, you suggesting i wear makeup and take ballet?"

"no, but john can get... toxic." 

"oh, screw off bobby. what do you know?"

bobby sighed, taking another drink from the fridge. "hey sam, why don't you come and do the dishes, yeah? they've been sitting here since the other day."

"just let dean do it." john yelled, continuing his story.

dean pursed his lips, taking the sponge in one hand and dropping a plate in the sink with a clang. 

"i don't see why you can't tell sam."

"he's my brother, but some things are better kept.. hidden."

"what? you're gonna go your whole life without telling anyone?"

"why not?" dean stopped scrubbing for a second, looking back at bobby. 

"because you'll be, "

bobby took a second. 

"unhappy. that's why."

"so what? being a hunter isn't about being happy." dean returned his focus to the dishes. "besides, how would he react? this shit takes money, money and time we don't have." 

"so get money. get a 9 to 5, for fuck's sake. do what you can."

"oh yeah, guess i'll go to an ivy league school too."

"oh, screw off. i'm just trying to help. with what you should want." bobby took a swig of beer.

dean took a deep breath, "i don't want that, okay? i should have never even told you. i just want life to resume. hell, maybe i'll come out as a lesbian. that wouldn't come as a surprise. don't think he'll give half a shit either."

"but you're not a lesbian, dean."

"who the fuck cares, bobby? okay? who gives a shit that i'm a dude? no one can change this." he gestured to his body.

"yes, you can-"

"for fuck's sake bobby, stop giving me false hope." dean stressed the sentence as much as he could, given that they were whispering.

"christ, you're a lost cause." bobby gulped down the rest of his beer and threw it in the trash can, leaving dean.


	2. Chapter 2

dean whistled, tapping on the steering wheel. he glanced at sam through the rear-view mirror, taking a deep breath and exhaling.

"so... sammy."

"told you not to call me that."

"whatever." dean chuckled.

"what's up?"

"just, uh.." he bit the inside of his cheek. "you think i'm manly?"

"i- what?" sam asked, looking at dean, visibly confused and a bit taken aback. "uh... not really." he paused. "you are a girl."

"yeah, yeah; i know- just idle talk."

"i mean... i guess? you definitely don't prance around in dresses, dude."

"yeah, guess not, huh?" dean exhaled.

"not saying that's bad or anything. doesn't make you any less a woman or anything."

"sure." dean turned on the radio, flipping through channels.

sam groaned, "there's nothing good on, dean."

pearl jam's daughter came on. dean left it on.

"since when did you like this sort of stuff?"

dean shrugged.

after a while of driving, dean noticed a neon sign from the distance that read in large, cursive-like text "merlot's motel and diner."

"dean, there's the motel."

"yeah, i know."

dean drove in, parking the car and climbing out. "you hungry?" dean asked.

"yeah. sorta. don't know if there's anywhere open, though, it's like eleven."

"grab us something from that vending machine." dean grabbed some money from out of his pocket and handed it to sam, walking in the direction of the motel's front. "cool! thanks, man!"


End file.
